The Search for God and Guinness

I just finished my latest read as a part of the blogger review program with Thomas Nelson.  The book was titled "The Search for God and Guinness."  I picked this book for a few reasons and really enjoyed this book.  The first reason that I chose this book is to figure out if beer and God could coexist in the same sentence and not be opposing each other.  This stems from my holiness roots and the way it causes me to look down on certain practices.  God is working on me in this area and I'm happy to report that I am more open than in previous years.  The second reason I chose this book is that one of my best friends is a huge fan of Guinness.  There is not too much in this world that brings him more happiness than being able to down a pint of Guinness.  He does so in moderation and not as frequently as he would like, but I became intrigued by this drink that always seemed off-limits to me.  The last reason that I chose this title is due to a quick version of the Arthur Guinness story that I read in the book "Exiles" by Michael Frost.  I was really impressed by the kingdom mindset that Frost talked about in reference to Guinness that it peaked my interest in learning more.

Now on to the review.  I found this book to be a fairly easy read, especially considering that it is a history book.  There were a few times that I got lost in the family tree, but I think that points more to the great heritage of Arthur Guinness.  I am thoroughly impressed with the legacy that one man left and how it was carried on by his many heirs.  I believe this is a testimony of the importance of serving God faithfully in all that you do.  I am also impressed by the compassion that Guinness and his heirs showed to their fellow-man.  This is something that we need to hear in this day and time.

I would recommend this book to anyone looking for an entertaining and interesting read at a remarkable family over the last 300 years.  I echo one of Guinness' current commercials for totally different reasons when I proclaim, "To Arthur!!"

A Lover's Quarrell with the Evangelical Church

Below is a quick review that I did of a book that I recently finished.

I chose to read this book solely based on the title. I also feel like I am in a lover’s quarrel with the evangelical church and I wanted to find out how someone else was getting along in the scuffle. I must admit that I enjoyed reading this book and did so in only a matter of days, which is fast for me. I found it very fascinating to read about the rise of a few mega churches and also much of Christian media.

This book confirmed for me much of what I struggle with in the evangelical church, namely that we have replaced our mission of discipleship and life transformation with “body count evangelism” (the author’s term) and that the only measure of success is numerical growth. I do feel that the author did a good job of stating some of the more glaring holes that many in the evangelical circle seem to ignore. I only hope that people can grasp the bigger picture that Smith is trying to paint.

I do however wish that Smith would have tried to encompass more of the broad scope of evangelism. I think there is more going on in some of the lesser denominations that are not of the Reformed/Calvinistic persuasion than Smith gave attention. I also wish he would have studied more of what’s going on in the Emerging/Emergent conversation than just to dismiss them as nihilists.

I will conclude by affirming that I do agree with Smith’s assertion that we have an understanding of history and how the medium of our message should line up with our theology. I would encourage others to read this book as I feel that it is a good conversation starter, especially for those who find themselves disenfranchised from the modern evangelical circle.

Let me add a few extra points as well.  I almost feel like Smith had a vendetta to promote Calvinism/Reformed theology and that of course rubs me wrong being a Wesleyan.  I don't know the authors theological background, but for someone who is a journalist I wish there had been more of a generous spirit here.  On a positive note, I really did appreciate that he was critical of the megachurch movement in a sense than that of someone who is jealous or has been slighted by it.  I can't tell you how many times I have witnessed pastors hoping to rise to be the next Bill Hybels or Rick Warren.  I would hope that more pastors would take a look at Smith's treatment of their rise and begin to ask a few more questions about trying to imitate these men and their ministry.

Feel free to ask any further questions as I'd love to discuss the book more.

Loss of Community

I have undergone some big changes in my life over the past couple of months that have me in a place that I'm unfamiliar with.  My wife and I moved closer to home after she graduated from med school in part to be closer to family for us and our daughter and also so that she can start making connections for where she will ultimately practice medicine in the future.  The biggest change for me is in regards to my vocation.  For the past four years I have been a co-youth pastor to an amazing youth group and now I am a stay at home dad.  Now I want to make absolutely clear that I love staying at home with my daughter.  I love seeing how she changes almost from day to day.  I love making her laugh and my heart melts almost every time she flashes a big grin when she recognizes me.  I hold the "job" that I'm doing now as an even higher calling than working for the church.  I had a former pastor always use the phrase "family is your first parish" and I believe that with all of my heart.

But in light of the many changes that I have personally undergone, I find myself struggling a bit in different areas of my life.  Let me explain a bit about myself.  I am totally a creature of habit.  I like having patterns and routines and predictability in my life.  I am OK with a little bit of unpredictability but not too much.  Working in the church and having a set office time each day gave me the opportunity to set up patterns and routines, and I did.  These patterns and routines helped me to stay in the word and pray on a regular basis.  They helped me to accomplish the various ministry tasks that I was responsible for each week.  But now that I am not in the office each day and my life is largely defined by an unpredictable baby, I am having to adjust on the fly.  Karis is starting to get into a daily pattern of sleeping, eating and playing which is allowing me to look at how I pattern my own day.  Thankfully I am finally starting to prioritize a few things in my life that have fallen by the wayside in the midst of my new responsibilities.  Please pray that I can stay faithful to them.

The biggest change though has come in the loss of community.  I know and understand the importance of community and have even spoke on the topic a time or two, but you never fully grasp the impact of community until you are no longer immersed in said community.  Over the past 4 years I have been serving next to some of the finest ministers that I have encountered.  People who brought so many different gifts to the table and who shaped and challenged my conception of what a church staff could become.  Around two years ago a major change occurred when our leader left to pastor another community.  Those of us on staff seemed to rise to the occasion during the void in leadership and forge ahead to the vision that we believed God had given our community.  Then a new leader came in with a different vision and slowly I saw many of those that I was close to gone.  I don't want to debate here the reasoning behind the leaving or termination of my friends, we can do that later.  I only want to highlight the fact that my community was drastically changed in a matter of months.  Thankfully the person that I was closest to and worked with was still around.  Our brotherhood continued to grown stronger as we shared our hurts, fears, joys and dreams with each other.  This is what I miss the most.  I currently find myself in a place where I am flying solo most of the time.  My wife works a ton, which we knew would be the case, and my daughter is not speaking just yet.  I am not involved in a church just yet and haven't even decided where we will attend.

But community cannot be forced and it develops in an organic way.  So as I find myself mourning the loss of something very great and meaningful in my life, I look forward to what God has in store for us here in this time and in this place.  I just pray that we will walk with eyes open to what God places in front of us.  To all of those that I have been in community with, I miss you greatly and the time that we shared together and I treasure each and every minute.

the life of Jared (7/12)

So I think the layout of these posts need to change a bit since I'm not in the office with free time.  I'll try to experiment with it a bit and hopefully land on something.

The weeks that have been:

Busy.  I have a new found respect for single parents.  I never thought ill of them or looked down upon them before, but now my respect level for them goes way up.  It has been quite an adjustment juggling Karis' varying schedule with the things that I hope to accomplish in a day.  The first thing to suffer has been my blog and any reading time that I had.  I am slowly working that back into my rotation.  Karis is changing almost by the day whether it be new noises or new dexterity.  She has recently discovered the mid part of her range and is constantly exercising it along with the high and low range from before.  Another big change is that she is now grabbing for things, especially toys.  She is just about ready to teeth so most everything she gets her hands on goes straight to her mouth.  I get a kick just out of watching her grow up everyday.

Holly has officially started and has hit the ground running.  She is in one of the hardest rotations that she will have in this program right off of the bat.  This is both good and bad though.  Good that she gets it out of the way, but bad that her first month is very hectic.  We have heard that her next month is a bit more relaxed, so we look forward to that.  The thing that I've had to adjust to is her being on call.  Before this wouldn't have mattered too much to me, but now that means that I'm alone with Karis for at least 30 hours.  I'm not worried about that nor do I not look forward to it, I really do, it's just that it can be a bit overwhelming at times.  Luckily I'm slowly getting the hang of it.

One new thing that we have recently acquired is an elliptical machine.  It came as a graduation gift for Holly from a few of her family members.  We are both very excited about this as I hate to run outside and Holly (and I) prefer the elliptical over a treadmil.  One funny/frustrating thing is that everytime I go to work out on it, Karis wakes up from her nap.  It's a very quiet machine, but it never fails.  I get about 5-10 min into my workout and she wakes up.  I guess that's just a part of life with a baby.

What I'm reading now:

I'm working through two books that I have started.  One is called "Recovering the Scandal of the Cross" and the other is called "The Evolution of God."  The former is a book on the atonement which seeks to look at other metaphors beyond the penal substitution theory as a means for understand what exactly happened on the cross.  The latter is a look at how the concept of God has evolved over time and I believe that he will culminate in the three Abrahamic faiths in hopes that they can find some sort of common ground.  I'll be doing a review on this when I finish as it is a part of another blogging program.

Misc stuff

Does anyone out there know of something that I could do to make a little bit of money from home?  I will kindly take suggestions.

The Hole in our Gospel

I recently finished the book "The Hole in our Gospel" by World Vision President Richard Stearns.  I selected this book as a part of the Thomas Nelson bloggers program purely because of the title.  I was curious to see what hole someone else saw in the gospel that many of the churches in North America promote.  Now I must say that I do believe that Jesus loves us and died to save us from our sins, but I think that's only the beginning.  I believe that the love of Christ compels us to share that love with everyone that we come in contact with.  That is truly good news and that is what Stearns wants his reader to understand.  I won't ruin the book for you but I do want you to understand that Stearns was considered a very successful person in both the Christian and secular business world.  He had climbed to the top of the corporate ladder and was still living his life for God.  But God began to move Stearns in a different direction and in that process Stearns learned about the hole in our gospel.  I appreciated the openness of his personal story of transformation as I believe that there are many in the pews of North America who share in his story.  Just as Shane Claiborne and others are calling the new generation to opening their eyes to see the poor and hurting around them, I believe that Stearns is a voice for an older generation that is less likely to take Claiborne and friends too seriously.  May we have the ears to hear and the courage to act upon this message that should in no doubt convict and motivate us to do our part no matter how big or small.  I would highly recommend this book to all.  Enjoy!

the life of Jared

The month that has been:

Sorry that I haven't posted anything in about a month.  With all of our unpacking, saying goodbye, moving and subsequent unpacking I haven't had too much free time.  Here's what I can remember us doing.  Holly's graduation week was quite the whirlwind.  It started off on Sunday with a going away reception at church in between services where I talked to a bunch of random people that I don't know that I even met in my four years on staff.  I really don't like those things because of that, but I guess you have to do them.  We finished packing the rest of that week and then had a staff going away lunch on Thursday.  Funny thing, as I looked around the cafe I could only truly say that I was close to a few people that are left on staff.  After an awkward "share your favorite Jared story" time with people that didn't hardly know me, we went home to change and then head to a formal dinner/dance for Holly's school.  We had a great time at this event.  I got to meet some of Holly's med school friends that I hear her talking about from time and time.  It was good to also put faces to names as well.

Friday we had a graduation party for Holly at the home of some of our dear friends that we used to serve on staff with.  We had a great evening hanging out with some of our closet friends in PA.  The evening came to a close with the group praying over Holly and I.  It is interesting to note that this evening felt like my staff going away reception as five of those present were ones that I had served at FVCN with.  Man, we had some good times together.  I left that event to pick up one of my best friends from the airport.  He was flying in to help us with the move by driving my car back to TN on Sunday.  Many, many thanks go out to "gangsta."  On Saturday Holly's family flew in to PA to be present for the graduation ceremonies and help us finish packing.  Sunday was the big graduation day!  I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of my wife.  She has put in so much time, energy and effort to get to this point.  (And I've only been around first hand for the past 5 years.)  I can honestly admit that I teared up as the med school class processed into the theatre.  After an interesting and fairly lengthy ceremony, my wife is now an official doctor!  Here an interesting tidbit, Holly's dad was able to hood her since he was a doctor as well.

That evening was perhaps one of the hardest nights that I have experienced in my ministry life.  Saying goodbye to a great youth group.  During the evening a few students stood up to share a few stories about me, some funny and some serious.  We were surprised with a Wii as a going away present and some cash to put toward some things for Karis and our move.  One other huge surprise came from our youth band.  I had worked with these guys when they were sophomores and now they were graduating seniors who had really come into their own as a band.  Anyways, last year when Doug was on sabbatical the guys wrote me a song on the last Sunday night that I was "on my own" as youth pastor.  As a going away gift the guys made a music video of said song and played it for us.  I'll have to say, they did an amazing job.  I'll try to post it on here sometime soon.  The evening concluded with me having many heartfelt goodbyes with both students, parents and leaders.  I am truly going to miss the FVCN youth group.

On Monday I took Holly and her family to the airport, said my official goodbye at the church, picked up the moving truck, packed said truck with the help of a few awesome friends, cleaned up the apartment, painted it back to white, and then drove 90 min down the road.  Sounds busy?  Well it was.  I arrived at my in-laws on Tuesday and spent the night there.  We left on Wednesday to drive the final 90 min to Chattanooga and then proceeded to unload the truck and start the unpacking process.  Once again I had some awesome help with that.

Our time here has consisted of all the normal moving requirements, Drivers License, new tags, utilities and the like.  We have yet to spend a full weekend here due to birthday parties, golf scrambles and graduation parties.  Holly starts her orientation tomorrow and her residency officially begins on July 1st.  We are in the process of settling down and finding what our normal routine will be here in Chattanooga.  Thanks for your patience in my blog posts, hopefully I will be able to carve out some regular time to blog in the future.

Last thing, I need to find some type of employment while staying at home with Karis.  Any ideas?

the life of Jared (5/24)

The week that was:

Packing boxes and wasting time.  That's my life right now.  We did have a going away reception at church on Sunday morning that was nice.  I talked to quite a few people that I don't think I've said too many words to in my 4 years at the church.  Needless to say that some of the conversations were a bit awkward.  I spoke for the last time at Solomon's Porch on Sunday night.

The week that is:

Busy.  We have to finish packing, which is currently kind of hard because we ran out of boxes.  I'll get more tomorrow from my buddy Sam at Chick-fil-a but as of now I'm at a stand still.  But here's how the end of the week is shaping out.  Thursday is our going away luncheon with the staff at church.  Thursday night we are going to a Dinner Dance for Holly's graduation.  Friday is Holly's graduation party at some of our dear friend's house.  Friday night by buddy Ryan is flying into town as he is driving my car back to my in-laws on Sunday, which saves us like $400 in shipping costs.  Saturday Holly's family is flying into town for her graduation on Sunday.  Sunday is Holly's graduation and our going away party with the youth on Sunday night.  Monday I take Holly and her family to the airport as they are all leaving me.  Monday afternoon I pick up the truck and have a few guys coming over to help me load it up.  I then leave Tuesday morning to drive to my in-laws place where we have our washer/dryer a few other things in storage.  Wednesday I'll leave from there and pull into our new place and unload the truck.

What I'm reading:

I'm reading a book called "the Hole in our Gospel" right now in between packing.

What I'm listening to:

Nothing in particular.

What I'm looking forward to:

Being finished with all of this.  I probably won't post next week due to the crazy schedule that I just talked about.

Talk to you in a few.

the life of Jared (5/18)

The week that was:

Packing, packing and more packing mixed in with a little bit of lazy unmotivated time.  My office at the church is about 95% finished and we are making progress at home.

We also attended 2 cookouts last weekend.  The first was with our former pastor and another family that used to be on our staff.  It was a great time eating and hanging out together and catching up.  I think we all lament that fact that we are spread out now, but we (or at least I) treasure the time that we spent together on staff.

The other cookout was with our small group.  3 of the 4 couples in the small group are moving away this summer and so this was our last time to be together.  One of the couples moving away is trying to use up the meat in their freezer so we had pork and beef ribs that night.  Now let me tell you about these ribs.  They were not the wimpy ribs that you might get at your local chain restaurant.  No, these were ribs on steroids and they were amazing.  Thanks Gregg and Lisa.

The week that is:

Packing, packing and more packing.  I hope that we are pretty much finished with packing by the end of this week.  Our following week is going to be nuts, but I'll let you know about that in my next update post.  I am taking my 9th grade small group to shady maple on Saturday morning.  That will definitely be good.

What I'm listening to:

Nothing specific right now, mostly genius playlists.

What I'm reading:

I'm slowly working through the book, "The Hole in our Gospel."  I hope to have a review of it after we get settled in Chatty.  I definitely recommend this book, especially for those who are older and might be turned off by a Shane Claiborne or someone like that.

What I'm looking forward to:

Settling down.  I'm sad to leave this place, but I hate seeing boxes everywhere.  Also there is a new DMB album releasing on the day that I leave PA.  Hopefully I'll be able to download it and listen to it as I make the trek to TN.

the life of jared (5/11)

The weeks that were:

2 weeks ago I was at our middle school retreat.  I'll have to honest, most of the time I dread those weekends, but I really enjoyed this trip.  The theme that Doug and I had come up with had great potential to be very meaningful for our students and we had some really cool activities planned at a different retreat center.

Our theme was centered around the fact that we are clay in the hands of the potter.  We talked about how we were made by God and that God declares that we are good.  In this session Doug took the kids outside and forced us to notice our surroundings and all that God had created.  This is especially meaningful to many of our students because we were in the middle of the woods which is radically different than where most of them live.  In our next session, we talked about how God readies us to be put on the wheel and then begins the process of shaping and molding us.  We found an actually potter's wheel and Doug did a quick demonstration on how a potter had to center the clay in order to lay the ground work for the piece that they have in mind to make.  We talked about how God wants us to be centered on the wheel and ready for how God wants to shape us.  The next session was geared around how God can take the mess that we sometimes make in our life and is able to still make it into something beautiful.  For this session we asked an art teacher from our local high school to come a do a real demonstration.  Thankfully she goes to our church and was happy to come out and help us.  She was awesome and it was amazing to see the students captured by her movements and how the clay was being shaped in her hands.  Our last session briefly talked about how God shapes and molds us for a purpose to be used for the kingdom.  Just how a plate, cup, bowl or vase has a certain purpose, so we have a purpose as we are being transformed by God.

All in all the retreat was awesome and our students were so well behaved.  This was my last retreat with this group and it kind of made me sad.  I have been so blessed to serve a great group of students.  I will miss them and our awesome youth leaders greatly.

On Monday we boarded a plane to TN for the sole purpose of finding a place to live in Chattanooga.  Karis slept the whole time at the airport and on the plane.  Holly and woke up early on Tuesday morning in order to get to an appointment at 10:30 with a real estate agent.  We saw several townhomes and actually wound up leasing the first one we saw.  Here are a few pictures.



[caption id="attachment_258" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Kitchen"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_259" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Backyard"][/caption]

The rest of week we just spent hanging out in the 'boro with Holly's family and we flew home on Friday.

Lastly, this was Holly's first Mother's Day and we had a great time.  We went on a family picnic to Valley Forge National Park, at Holly's request, and overall just had a lazy day.

The week that is:

Packing.  I'm hoping to have most of my office packed up by the end of the week but the house is not packing itself like we want it to.  We also have 2 cookouts with friends and our small group this weekend.  Looking forward to that.

What I'm listening to:

Nothing in particular.  I have listened to the latest Lincoln Brewster album quite a bit lately.  It's a good one!

What I'm looking forward to:

All of the packing to be done and the move to be over.  I'm not ready to say goodbye, but I dread this waiting process.

What I'm reading:

Nothing really.  Pretty much all of my books are in boxes.

the life of Jared (4/27)

The week that was:

Where to begin?  My mom and dad flew in for the weekend on Wednesday and they got to see Karis for the first time in person, which was cool.  My sister and brother in law flew in on Friday for the weekend as well, and they also got to see Karis for the first time.

Saturday was my 30th b-day and my lovely wife planned a surprise party for me with a few friends.  It was a great time hanging out with good friends.  The highlight was probably when Stephen Porter walked into the room.  He came all the way from South Africa, though not totally for me.  He is in town for a couple of trips to DC to hopefully secure visas for his family so they can return to Angola and the missionary assignment they have there.

Sunday was a really busy day.  It was our 30 hour famine Sunday at church which meant that Doug and I team preached in "big" church.  We were both satisfied with the message that we challenged our church to be a part of the solution.  I don't know if everyone "heard" what we said, but hopefully a few did.  We called the church to a time of prayer at the end of the service in order to begin to dream about being a part of the solution and in both services the altars were full.

Also on Sunday Holly and I dedicated Karis.  That was the main reason that my family came into town, and it was good to have them there.  Doug dedicated her and prayed over her.  It was cool to have him do that since I had dedicated and prayed over both of his kids.  Man, I'm going to miss that guy when I move.

After lunch at a local Italian place we returned home to snap a few more pictures and then I took my family to the airport.  I returned home for about an hour to only go back to church for Solomon's Porch, where I spoke again.  In addition the kids had brought in a bunch of cupcakes to celebrate my birthday and one of our leaders painted a caricature of me that I'll take a picture of when I get it back.  She wants all of our students to sign it.

The week that is:

I am currently gearing up for Middle School retreat this weekend.  We are focusing on the Potter's house passage in Jeremiah.  I'm really excited about this weekend and the impact that it'll have on our students.  I just hope that they are open to hear what God has laid on Doug and my heart.

What I'm reading:

I'm finding it really hard to read right now.  I don't know why, but I keep looking at the same 3 books and not making any progress with them.  Because of that I'm putting off the Romans study until life gets a bit more steady.  I promise that I will pick it up!

What I'm listening to:

Right now, Hillsong United.  I like them, but can only handle em in doses.  This will be my dose for the week.  I really wish they would write more communal songs instead of everyone of them focusing on the individual.  I listened to a little bit of Crowder this morning as well.  I really like the Remedy album and the live one is great as well.

What I'm (Not) looking forward to:

Packing.  I don't like packing at all.  I need to start purging some clothes that I don't wear anymore and other junk that I've accumulated over the past few years.  I'm going to try my best to get that done here in the next 2 weeks.

Housing.  Do you know how hard it is to find a house when you are hundreds of miles away?  We are blessed with my sister being in the town that we are moving to and my in laws a couple of hours away and willing to go on road trips, but this is really stressing me out.  It seems like when we find something fairly good online, it's either in a bad area, not as good as the pics they posted, or too far away for Holly to commute.  We are going down there next week and hope to come back to PA knowing exactly where we will be moving.  Please pray that we can work out these details.

Update on Karis:

I can't believe how much she is changing.  She is really starting to interact with us well.  We have a few trigger words that always seem to bring a smile when she is in a good mood.  I love my little girl no matter how much she screams in the middle of the night.

the life of Jared

The week that was:

Highlighted by our 30 hour famine event Friday over Saturday.  It was amazing!  It's funny how we can put all of this time, effort and energy into putting something together and then God does something totally different.  Truthfully I was kind of bummed on Friday night as many of our kids came to check in and hadn't raised any money at all.  In fact, as a group we had about 20 more people than last year and raised only half of the money.  But over the course of the weekend many of our students became convicted of their lack of effort and have now decided to do anything they can think of raise money.  It's great to hear feedback from our students about how God has been wrestling with them over simple things as our lifestyle and the things we eat.  I'll try to put some of my many thoughts into a post sometime soon.

The week that is:

My parents, sister and brother in law are coming to town this weekend!  This is a big weekend as my 30th birthday is on Saturday, Karis is being dedicated on Sunday and I'm team preaching on Sunday with Doug in "big" church.  Needless to say my time is going to be pulled in many different directions.

What I'm reading:

Same few books.  Nothing new here.

What I'm listening to:

I'm on a serious DMB kick lately.  I've probably plowed through a few of his live albums both in my car and in the office.

What I'm looking forward to:

Well this past weekend I announced an upcoming move that Holly and I are making to our high school students and our youth leaders.  For the most part everyone was very supportive.  There were a few students who were totally caught off guard and are still processing through the news.  This coming weekend the announcement will be made to the whole church, so on top of preaching and Karis being dedicated it should be a roller coaster day.  All of that to say that we are now looking for housing in Chattanooga and it's turning out to be a difficult proposition.  Please pray that we can find a place that we are comfortable with and that will be good for Karis to grow up in for the next 3 years.  Also we are now starting to purge some of our junk and pack what we are going to take and I always hate this part of life.

Karis update:

She's over 8lbs now, which is awesome!  She's also had a few long nights lately which is making things difficult for mom and dad.  Hopefully this is just a phase and will pass soon, but we'll see.

the life of Jared

The week that was

Holy week was filled with both some good down time and also a few events.  This has been a challenging lenten season and I'll blog about it sometime this week.  The first part of the week was pretty uneventful with the latter part of the week being fairly busy.  I have switched my day off from Friday to Monday to accommodate Holly's schedule with her last rotation.  This has been a bit of an adjustment, but one I'm taking fairly well.  On Thursday we had an open communion time where Doug (my co-youth pastor) and I manned a station.  I love having the chance to connect with families in this way.  We were able to serve communion to and pray with many of the families that either work with us or that we directly serve.  On Friday our youth ministry held a tenebrae service at the same time one was going on in the main sanctuary.  It was a very good service as we reflected on the death of Christ.  The thing that I liked the most is that our students actually left the room in silence.  I don't know if that has ever happened before!  We had good services on Sunday as well.  It was weird to be in the back and not involved, but it is also a welcome change.

The week that is:

Our student ministry is participating in the 30 hour famine this weekend in conjunction with another church.  So this week is going to be spent mostly in preparations for that and Sunday.  Our past two famines have been a huge success and I'm praying for the same again.  I'm also in the process of securing housing for our family when Holly starts residency.  This process is starting to stress me out a bit so please keep this in your prayers if you remember.

What I'm reading:

Ok, so I have a bit of ADD when it comes to reading lately.  I'm still reading the book on the atonement, "Recovering the Scandal of the Cross".  I have also started two others though.  The first one is called "The Sacredness of Questioning Everything."  The second one is called "The Hole in our Gospel."  The last one is by the president of World Vision and he is writing about his own journey but also about how we in the western church aren't really living out the whole gospel.  I picked this book up through a program that Thomas Nelson offers to bloggers.  It's free, all I have to do is write a review on here and a place like Amazon.

What I'm listening to:

Nothing consistently.  I've been taking advantage of the genius feature on iTunes lately.  Man, I love that feature.

What I'm keeping an eye on:

I have a big and tough announcement to make this weekend.  It's one of those bittersweet things that pop up in life.  I just pray that God will be glorified in all that we say and do.

the life of Jared (4/6)

The week that was:

Dominated by a quick trip to Charlotte for one of my college friends wedding.  This trip/wedding was big for a couple of different reason.  First, it was the first time that I have been away from Karis overnight.  And it was two nights at that!  It was really hard to leave but my friend only gets married once.  Second, my friend who got married is the last of my close group of friends to do such.  So we are all married now and many of us have begun to have kids as well.  Third, I really love seeing all of my college friends and catching up with them.  I so miss the community that I had with those guys and even some of the ignorance that comes with youth.

The week that is:

Well it's Holy Week that that means I have something going on Thursday and Friday night.  Thursday we are having drop in communion at our church that the pastors are staffing and Friday we are doing a Tenebrae service with our youth.  I really enjoy having the freedom to put together and execute a Tenebrae service.  I only hope that the youth that do come will appreciate what we are remembering on that evening.

What I'm reading:

I'm all over the place with what I'm reading right now.  I started reading a book on the atonement called "Recovering the Scandal of the Cross" and I'm enjoying it.  I'm still kind of reading through "Crazy Love" but can only take the reformed theology in doses.  I have decided to do a pretty extensive study of the book of Romans after Easter which I'm looking forward to.  I'll try to blog on the things that I will learn.

What I'm listening to:

On my plane ride I listened to some DMB and John Mayer.  I like listening to live albums on trips as it helps the time to pass quicker.

What I'm looking forward to:

UNC is playing in the national championship tonight.  They completely destroyed MSU last time they played them, but I don't think this game will have the same outcome.  The only thing that kind of scares me is that this is basically a home game for MSU.  But I think our talent and execution will eventually give us the advantage.

On another note, I correctly picked 3 of the 4 final four teams which includes the match-up tonight.  Aren't I smart?

the life of Jared 3/23

The week that was:

Sleep, sleep and more sleep.  Holly's mom was here from Sunday thru Thursday so that meant that Holly and I got more sleep than usual.  Thanks Brenda!  It's funny what more sleep does to you after you've learned how to live without it.  I found that my body didn't fully catch up to "normal" until Wednesday, but then it was back to business as usual on Thursday.  Additionally we had our annual Volunteer Appreciation Banquet at church last Friday night.  Our theme was "The Greatest Church on Earth" and we ultimately put on a circus.  That's right, I said a circus.  I had a couple of parts to play in the whole shebang.  I was the "6 ft. man eating chicken" (the important part of my costume was a box of Chick-fil-a chicken strips) and I was also a construction clown.  We had a fun night entertaining our volunteers and showing them thanks for the many sacrifices that they make.

The week that is:

Nothing much going on here.  Holly's cousin is coming at the end of the week for a quick visit and we have a Middle School event on Friday night as well.

What I'm looking forward to:

Vaguely, the future.  As our families future is coming into more focus, Holly and I are looking forward to what the future holds.  It's amazing that Holly is about to graduate med school and that she will be starting residency this summer.  We are one step closer to functioning as a "normal" family that doesn't have to worry about schooling and not being settled.  That is unless I go back to school in the near future like I want to do.  But more on that in the future.

What I'm reading:

Since my class is finished I'm now free to read what I want.  I'm thinking about plowing through Missional Church.  Any other suggestions.

What I'm listening to:

I've been listening to some DMB lately as well as U2 and The Fray's new albums.

Angry Conversations with God

That's the name of a book that I've been recently reading.  It's by an author named Susan Isaac's and I recommend that you check out her story.  Here is a link to her blog as well.  I won't give away too much of her story but I will say that unfortunately too much of Susan's story is found in the world today.  We construct our concept of God based on our fathers and the people who are found in churches.  I was luckily blessed with a good father who never cheapened my concept of God, but I have come across too many people that have messed up views about who God is because their fathers were not very godly.  As Susan points out at one time, it wasn't her fault, and it's not; but it's the church's fault.  Now I don't want to trash the church too much here, but I think too many times we get in the rut of saying things that we have either heard or we just hope might be true in some sense.  All of this to say that I was caught up in Susan's story of taking God to marriage counseling and recounting her life and how God was working through these various experiences.  Thank you Susan for being transparent about your "marriage" with God, may others be encouraged by your journey.

The life of Jared (3/16)

The weeks that were:

Nothing much has happened lately.  My sister-in-law and brother-in-law came up for a quick Karis visit at the beginning of last week.  My last class session was on Saturday.  I'm kind of glad that it's over because I don't seem to have a ton of free time to put towards preparing for class, but I do enjoy teaching and the conversation that is sparked from what I prepare.  This last session was on eschatology which is always an interesting topic.

The week that is:

My mother-in-law is here this week helping out.  Karis has been really high maintenance lately with having her days and nights mixed up.  I know that all babies go through this phase, but it's killer when they are going through it.  Here's the funny thing though, Karis isn't consistent with her mix ups.  Some days everything is normal, and then the next two will be flip flopped.  Also this week is our annual volunteer appreciation banquet at the church.  This year we are doing something brand new in that the staff is putting on a circus to honor our volunteers.  It's gonna be pretty crazy and your truly is going to be a construction clown.  Hopefully it will go off well but most importantly that our volunteers will feel very appreciated.

What I'm reading:

"Angry Conversations with God"  I will be doing a post on Wednesday of this book which I recommend.  I might even do a giveaway if you're lucky.  I'm trying to finish Crazy Love since our students are having to read this for the summer mission trip.

What I'm listening to:

The new Fray album, the new U2 album and random DMB.

What I'm keeping an eye on:

Holly and I find out where she matched for a residency program on Thursday.  We are on pins and needles with anticipation about knowing where our next journey will be to.  Once we do find out, then we have to start our preparations to move out of our crappy apartment.  Now that I'm really looking forward to!

Karis update:

Other than the day/night mix up she's doing awesome.  She's growing like crazy and is now starting to interact a bit with you.  She won't focus too long on your face, but she will turn and look at you from time to time when you speak to her.  I love seeing her develop right in front of our eyes.  I know this is only the beginning of the many first that she will have.

The life of Jared (3/1)

The week that was:

Fairly uneventful.  Mostly my week looks like this.  I work up until 1 and then head home and Holly goes to her rotation site.  One of us is always at home right now with Karis.  It is amazing how fast time flies when I'm taking care of Karis.  Especially since she is spoiled and loves to be held.  It's almost impossible for me to get any reading done.

We did have some friends over on Saturday night.  That was a good release for Holly and I to have other adults to hang out with, plus they were loving on Karis the whole time.

The week that is:

Not much here again.  Karis has a Dr.'s appointment to get a shot.  Yuck.  I need to keep pace on preparing for my class.  Our last session is on the 14th.  I really need to get on my taxes.  I keep putting that off, but I know that's one of those things that will sneak up on you if you let it.

What I'm reading:

Two main things:  "Surprised by Hope" by NT Wright.  I am loving this book and the call that he is making to the church.  "Angry Conversations with God" by Susan Isaacs.  This is a book that I got a prerelease copy in order to write up a review when it is released.  I am having fun with this one and you should really pick up a copy when it comes out in a couple of weeks.  I'll do a formal write up then.

What I'm listening to:

Right now, the new U2 album that came out today.  First impression is that it's pretty good.  Kind of chill, but still solid.  I also thinking about picking up an album that Don Miller recommended from a group called The Alternate Routes.

What I'm keeping an eye on:

Carolina has two big games this week.  They can wrap up the ACC regular season title with a win on Wednesday of Va Tech.  Of course I'd also love for them to pound Duke.  I'm a little concerned about their defense when it comes tourney time, but hopefully things will click here in the last week.

We are also now in the Lenten season.  I will be doing a devotional blog on my church's website for our youth.  Feel free to check it out and leave some comments.

The Life of Jared (2/22)

The week that was:

Taught class on Saturday where we talked about worship and the sacraments.  We had a great discussion, especially about infant baptism.  It's so much fun to be an integral part in helping people formulate their theology and helping them to rethink past positions.  I also sold our living room set on Craigslist last week.  I put all four pieces for $50 because I wanted to make sure it was sold by Friday when we picked our new sofa.  Let's just say that I had a lot of interest since they were in such good shape.  I wound up selling the set to a family who had refinished their basement for their two girls who are 15 and 10.  The set sold for $100, because demand was driving the price up, and they pitched in another $20 when I helped them load it up.  They seemed to be a nice family and I hope the girls enjoy the furniture as much as Holly and I did.  Lastly, we picked up our new sofa and it is awesome!  I feel so grown up with a new baby and a new sofa.

The week that is:

Lent starts tomorrow so I've been preparing for our Ash Wednesday service and our first week's message on Sunday.  Hopefully things will settle down a bit, but with a newborn I don't think that's possible.

What I'm listening to:

Lots of different albums.  Passion: God of this City, Downhere: all 3 of them, Chris Tomlin: Hello Love, DMB: Live at the Mile High Music Festival, The Fray: The Fray.

What I'm looking forward to:

I'm really anticipating lent this year as I'm fasting from something totally different than I normally do.  I'll put up a separate post on it tomorrow, just know that it will stretch me quite a bit.  I have also put together a lenten devotional for our students that I'd love for you to use if you need something.  You can find it on our church website.  Once it's up tomorrow I'll post a link.  I will also be blogging through lent on the church website to try and generate some discussion there.

Karis update:

Here's a new category.  Karis is doing really well.  She's starting to learn to swat away things from her face that she doesn't like.  Namely the suction bulb thing that we use to get boogers out of her nose.  She's also starting to turn when you speak to her.  She has also outgrown a few of her preemie outfits!

The Life of Jared (2/16)

The week that was:

Not a whole lot happened.  My in laws came in for the weekend to see Karis and help out, which was appreciated.  Holly and I were able to go out by ourselves for the first time since Karis came home.  We went to a wedding of two of our youth workers, which was awesome.  Then we went to a place called the Dump and bought a sofa!  I led worship with Doug and spoke on Sunday night and enjoyed both very much.  I hadn't played the guitar in over a couple of months and really missed it.  I was also very please with my message on Sunday night in talking about God disciplining us.  I just hope and pray that our students heard it!

The week that is:

My mother in law is here until Thursday helping out with Karis, so therefore Holly and I are working later to try and get caught up with other things.  I am working to get our Lenten devotional together and starting to study for our lent series.  We are going to be following the lectionary for the rest of the year, which I think will be fun.  I also have class on Saturday so I've gotta get that all together as well.  Our new couch will be here on Friday and I'm trying to sell our older pieces on Craigslist right now.  So far I've had 3 bites!

What I'm reading:

Same old things for class and a secondary source called Ancient-Future Worship.  I really like that book a lot!  I'm also enjoying my new Wesley Study Bible.

What I'm listening to:

Today I was listening to a band that a friend of mine used to be in called Kurios.  I was walking down memory lane.

What I'm looking forward to/keeping an eye on:

Sitting on my new couch.  Teaching on Saturday.  Lent beginning.  Carolina creeping up to #1.  Phillies starting Spring Training.  Holly going through the residency match.

Good quote

I'll try to post my weekly update soon, but I came across this quote as I prepared for our Ash Wednesday service and thought you might like it.

By virtue of who we are, we will sow in tears; by virtue of who God is, we may reap in joy.

Words to build a life on

So I've been listening to the Mike Crawford and His Secret Siblings album in my car again.  I've really been captured by the last song called "Words to Build a Life On."  Here is the a link to their myspace page where you can give it a listen to and below are the lyrics, what do you think?

These are words to build a life on
These are Your words how can they be mine
These are words to build a life on
These are Your words I want them to be mine

Blessed are the poor
Blessed are the weak
Blessed are the ones
Who can barely speak

Blessed in your hurt
Blessed in your pain
Blessed when your teardrops
Are falling down like rain

Blessed when you’re broken
Blessed when you’re blind
Blessed when you’re fragile
When you have lost your mind

Blessed when you’re desperate
Blessed when you’re scared
Blessed when you’re lonely
Blessed when you’ve failed

Blessed when you’re beat up
Blessed when you’re bruised
Blessed when you’re tore down
Blessed when you’re used

These are words to build a life on
These are Your words how can they be mine
These are words to build a life on
These are Your words I want them to be mine

Blessed when you’re heartbroke
Blessed when you’re fired
Blessed when you’re choked up
Blessed when you’re tired

Blessed when the plans
That you so carefully laid
End up in the junkyard
With all the trash you made

Blessed when you feel like
Giving up the ghost
Blessed when your loved ones
Are the ones who hurt you most

Blessed when you lose your
Own identity
Then blessed when you find it
And it has been redeemed

Blessed when you see what
Your friends can never be
Blessed with your eyes closed
Then blessed you see Me

These are words to build a life on
These are Your words how can they be mine
These are words to build a life on
These are Your words I want them to be mine

Blessed when you’re hungry
Blessed when you thirst
Cause that’s when you will eat of
The bread that matters most

Blessed when you’re put down
Because of me you’re dissed
Because of me you’re kicked out
They take you off their list

You know you’re on the mark
You know you’ve got it right
You are to be my salt
You are to be my light

So bring out all the flavor
In the feast of this My world
And light up all the colors
Let the banner be unfurled

Shout it from the rooftops
Let the trumpets ring
Sing your freaking lungs out
Jesus Christ is King!

Jesus is my Savior
Jesus is divine
Jesus is my answer
Jesus is my life

These are words to build a life on
These are Your words how can they be mine
These are words to build a life on
These are Your words I want them to be mine

Give us ears that we may hear them
voice that we may sing them
life that we may live them
hope that we may give them
hearts that we can feel them
eyes that we can see them
thoughts that we may think them
tongues that we may speak Your words

How would your church handle the line, "sing your freakin' lung out that Jesus Christ is King!"

The life of Jared (2/9)

The week that was:

Not much went on last week.  I'm still getting adjusted to life with a baby at home.  I'm the one who gets up in the middle of the night and changes/feeds her since Holly is pumping.  The problem is that we aren't on the same schedule so we wind up waking the other up at various points in the night, especially if Karis happens to be fussy.  I also taught on Saturday and had a great discussion over the philosophy of the church.  It's amazing for me to think about how far we have gotten away from the vision that is found in the early church.  I'll try to post a little more on that later.

The week that is:

Same old, same old here.  Juggling job, baby, wife, class, etc all at once.  It's fun and tiring.  Karis has her next Dr's appointment on Thursday, hopefully she's still gaining a good amount of weight.  Speaking of Karis, she's on my chest sleeping right now as I type.  Pretty cool, pretty cool.

What I'm listening to:

I just picked up the new album from The Fray and it's pretty good.  I usually have to listen to an album a few times to make a good informed judgement about it.  But so far, I like this one.

What I'm reading:

Same old stuff for class but also at least one new book, Ancient-Future Worship by Robbert Webber.  If he's able to deliver on this book what he claims in the opening introduction, I'm going to really like this book.  Here's the cover and a link to amazon. 

What I'm keeping an eye on:

North Carolina and Duke play on Wednesday, that's always a huge game.  Go Heels!  Other than that I'm out of touch with the happens of the world.

Totally Dependent

So Karis has been home for two nights and I'm so fascinated by her.  What I'm the most fascinated about is the fact that she is totally dependent upon Holly and I.  Her very well being and survival is contingent upon us feeding her, keeping her warm and discerning certain warning signs that might indicate that something is wrong.  Lucky for Karis, Holly and I have so much love for her that we will probably overprotect her until we are confident that she is fully healthy.

You can probably see where I'm going with this, but I'll say it anyways.  I'm appreciating my own dependency upon God a bit more lately.  I can totally see how I mirror Karis in my relationship with God.  How God is always watching over me and trying to lead me in my journey.  I am so helpless on this journey with finding the right path, knowing which way to go, even having provision to make it to completion.  It kind of makes the portion of the sermon on the mount which says not to worry about what you will eat, wear, where you will sleep, for the future, etc. stand out in a new way.  We cannot fully live into this until we are OK with being totally dependent on God.  Able to soak up the love, grace and provision that comes our way from a God who cares more about us that the lilies of the field and the birds of the air.

God grant me the grace to accept my total dependence upon you and the strength and knowlege to take care of this precious baby that you have blessed us with.

The life of Jared (2/2)

I guess I should date these things for the few of you who care.

The week that was:

Not much happened last week.  Time in the office, at the NICU, etc.  We did have a snow day which was pretty cool, but Karis wasn't with us so that sucked a bit.  I had a Middle School event on Friday night that went really well.  Doug is battling a persistent form of strep so I told him to stay away.  Besides he's covered for me a lot lately.

The week that is:

The doctors keep talking like Karis will come home sometime this week.  Holly and I trying not to get our hopes up too much because they've talked like this before and then have said, "We want to keep our eye on her for a few more days."  As I said in an earlier post, I want her to come home now, but also when she is ready.  That's more important.  I think I'm speaking for our high school kids this week on the topic of 1st temple Judaism, which I'm calling the Ultimate Home Court Advantage.  Should be fun!

What I'm listening to:

Right now, Starfield.  I've also listened to Los Lonely Boys alot last week.  I love those guys.  Wouldn't you like to create a whole new genre of music?  There's is called Texican rock.

What I'm reading:

Still stuff for class, but one book in particular is called "Missional Church."  It's awesome, pick it up and plow through it.  I've also updated my book page on this blog.  Pretty soon I'll get around to talking about each book, if you care.

What I'm keeping an eye on:

Other than Karis coming home, not much else.  Things are on cruise control in the youth ministry until March so I'm going to take advantage of that.  I'm teaching again on Saturday which will be fun, assuming that I can get fully prepared.

A little dose of patience

I truly think that patience is a four letter word to most Christians.  Think about it, how many sermons do you hear on the subject of patience?  Sure the pastor may talk about and use the concept of patience to support a point, but patience is usually never the focal point of a sermon.  Truth is, patience is hard on us humans.  We are inundated with so many commercials that brain wash us into thinking that having patience is the old way of doing things.  We were originally sold on the idea that credit cards were the answer to the problem, or taking out a 2nd and/or 3rd mortgage on the house, but in the end that has gotten most of us nowhere.  In fact, most of us are worse off than when we started.

I speak of all this because Holly and I are enduring a little dose of patience with our daughter Karis.  She is so close to coming home from the NICU, but it seems that every time we get a little excited about what could happen in the next couple of days, those hopes get deflated by one thing or another.  The latest round was centered around the feeding tube.  One of the prerequisites for her coming home is doing 100% of her feeds by bottle or nipple.  For a couple of days we would feed her a little bit by bottle until she fell asleep and then they would put the rest down her feeding tube.  So on Wednesday, Karis' 3 week birthday, Karis pulled out her feeding tube and the nurse said she wouldn't put a new one in unless she proved that she needed one.  The good news is that she showed she didn't need it, but tonight while Holly and I were visiting she had a little relapse.  Now my definition of relapse is that she spit up a portion of her feed.  It wasn't enough to get up in arms over, but enough to become frustrated.  Our hope is that when she starts to do something that she will continue on in this upward trajectory toward "normalcy", whatever that is.  The truth is Karis is a preemie and all of our best intentions, and plans for her to progress need to happen in the right time.  We don't need to bring Karis home and then have to take her back to the hospital a few days or weeks later.

So we need to exercise a little patience.  We have to trust that Karis is in God's hands and that she will progress in the right time and while we are so ready for her to come home, she needs to come home when she is ready.  So please pray for us and our little dose of patience.  I will leave you with Paul's description of the fruit of the Spirit, what we are to model as we become more and more like Christ.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law."  Galatians 5:22-23

The life of Jared

Trying another name for this update thingy.

The week that was:

Not much went on last week.  My time in the office was spent on preparing to speak to our youth after a few weeks absence and preparing for class on Saturday.  I thought class went really well.  Our topic was on Salvation/Sanctification and I think I helped to clear up a few misunderstandings/bad definitions that had been thrown around to my students.  Every time I read John Wesley I am more and more disappointed at how we have twisted his thoughts and intentions.  But I guess we do the same to the Bible, so why should Wesley be any different.

My in-laws flew in for the weekend too.  We had a great time with them, even though it was short.  They got in around 11PM on Friday and after we picked them up at the airport we took them to the hospital to see Karis.  I taught on Saturday so Holly took them on Saturday to the hospital and then we went again after class was over.  They went again on Sunday morning as I had to come to church so that I can still collect a paycheck.  They flew out Sunday afternoon and then Holly and I spent the evening just hanging out.  I love having downtime with Holly.  She usually falls asleep and I watch TV or read, but I love just being close to her.

The week that is:

Pretty much nothing new this week either, except that Karis may come home later in the week.  If she continues to take all of her feeds by bottle and shows that she doesn't need the feeding tube anymore, then they will consider sending her home with us.  Holly and I will be happy when that whole ordeal is over.  We both hate leaving her at the hospital, especially if she's awake.  But we understand that she is getting the best care there right now.

We have a middle school event on Friday night that I will attend unless Karis comes home and there's a little thing called the Super Bowl on Sunday.  I would love to watch that with Karis in my arms.

What I'm reading:

I have started reading "Missional Church" by Darrell Guder and others, for my class.  I'm only part of the way through the 1st chapter and can already tell that I'm going to like this book.  I'll post some thoughts as I work my way through it.

What I'm listening to:

Right now I'm listening to Shane and Shane, all of the albums that I have.  I don't know why, I'm just in that kind of mood.  Those guys are really talented and I especially love worshipping with them in person.  They led one of the sessions at YS this year that was amazing.

What I'm keeping an eye on:

Other than Karis, there's not much on my radar.  Can you tell that I want her home?

Sanctification

So I'm teaching a class on Saturday where we are covering the way of salvation and sanctification.  The latter idea is a big distinctive of the tribe that I belong to, but as I'm doing research on what John Wesley taught and believed I'm finding that we are way off.  In fact, the way that most people are starting to think of sanctification is more in tune with Wesley than the way that I remember it being taught to me.

The argument conversation basically boils down to process.  Wesley argued that we are cleansed from sin and then begin a process whereby our love is perfected into the love of God, or we are made into the imago Dei.  In the early 1800's a woman by the name of Phoebe Palmer started convincing people that they could have the whole kit and caboodle at one time.  No need to wait, just come to the altar, pray through, believe, and bam your sanctified.  The latter began to emerge as the standard view of the process of sanctification and I believe led many to a state of spiritual apathy.  You see, Wesley was very intentional about teaching that we were not through after the moment of sanctification.  We were still to grow in grace and in learning how to love God and neighbor perfectly.

I am perceiving that the Wesleyan view is once again taking hold in light of the many shift in thinking thanks to postmodernity.  Now if only we would stop preaching felt needs, self help sermons, etc and get back to a strong conviction of our tribe.

Church as the New Humanity

I've been thinking over Rob Bell and Don Golden's new book lately as I listened to it as I drove down to TN before Christmas.  The name of the book is "Jesus Wants to Save Christians."  Like most of Rob's teaching, it stretched and challenged me a lot.  I'm going to quote a little bit from the last chapter to hopefully spark some discussion among us.  But before I begin, I totally recommend this book.

A church is where peace has been made.  Because in the Eucharist, in Jesus' body and blood, everything has been reconciled to God.  Paul calls this the "new humanity."  The Eucharist is about the new humanity.  People who previously had nothing in common discover that the only thing they now have in common is the one things that matters.  People who had previously found themselves on opposite sides of a wall find out that the wall has been distroyed.  People who had fought over an endless array of issues realize that peace has been made and there is nothing left to fight about.

In the new humanity, you hear perspectives you wouldn't normally hear, you walk in someone else's shoes, you find out that the judgments you had previously made about that group of people or that kind of men or that kind of women or all of those kids simply don't hold up because now you're getting to know one of "those" and it's changing everything.  You learn that your labels for different people groups are insufficient, because people are far more complex and unpredictable and intelligent and creative.

You used to have a rigid stance on a particular issue, but now you've heard the other side and it's impossible anymore to categorize them all as stupid and uninformed and heartless, because you realize that they have thought about their position and they have weighed the consequences and they have good points that you must consider.

In the new humanity our world gets bigger, our perspective goes from black and white to color, our sensitivities are heightened, we're rescued from sameness and uniformity, because the wall has come down and peace has been made.  A church is the new humanity on display.  She's in graduate school, and he's in his nineties; and one couple has a million dollars, and another doesn't have enough money for dinner; and he arrived in this country three years ago with a small suitcase, and they've never been out of the country; and they have a son fighting in the war, and they're going to a war protest later today; and he's got serious doubts about what he was taught growing up, and she's just decided that God might even exist.

All of these people-who are divided, who never sit down and listen to each other- in the new humanity, in the church, they meet, they engage, they interact, they begin to feel what the other feels, and the dividing wall of hostility crumbles.  In the new humanity, them becomes us, they becomes we, and those become ours.

Sounds a lot like being generous doesn't it?  Is it possible for our protestant churches in this day and time to look like this?  Especially established churches?  I'll post a few more quotes from this chapter in the next few days.

A peek into my world

Still not sold on the name of these posts.  I will gladly take any suggestions.

The week that was:

I went back to work last week which was somewhat of a bummer.  Doug was out sick the first couple of days so other than braggin on my baby I didn't have too many people of too many subjects to talk about.  Holly's mom left on Tuesday to go back to TN and will return when Karis comes home.  Holly went to the hospital twice each day and I went mostly once since I had to be in the office.  We are still trying to adjust our schedules to Holly pumping which I think will help us once Karis does come home.  I just think that we will be more responsive to a baby crying as opposed to an alarm clock going off.

Holly had a baby shower on Saturday with some people from the church and we got a lot of great outfits to Karis and other odds and ends and also the jogging stroller that we registered for.  That is huge.  Thanks ladies.  While Holly was at the shower I took a good friend of mine, Petey as I call him behind his back and with Wendy and sometimes Doug, down to the NICU to see Karis.  Petey and I used to have offices next to each other and developed a great relationship through deep discussions and working through sermons together.  I really miss our rich conversations over theology and what is going on in the church, especially since he brought a conservative reformed background to the conversation.  Anyways, we had a great time catching up on life and the craziness of his families life in response to him being let go from our staff.  We also got to see Karis at one of her most alert times which was fun.  Hang in the Petey, God is not through with you yet my friend.

The week that is:

Not much going on except for class on Saturday.  I'm really behind on my reading and preparing for class so I've got to get busy.  This session we are talking about salvation and sanctification so it should be very interesting.  Other than that my days are going to be at the office and a part of the evening will be in the NICU.  Man, I can't wait for Karis to come home!

What I'm listening to:

I listened to a great sermon by Rob Bell today.  He is working through a series on Philippians and he did a sermon as Paul speaking to his congregation.  It was really great.  It was the sermon from Sept 7th if you are interested.  Other than that I'm using the genius feature on iTunes which means that random things are popping up.

What I'm reading:

Stuff for class.  Nothing special right now.  I will be doing a review of a book that will be released in March sometime in Feb.  Should be interesting.

What I'm keeping an eye on:

Tomorrow is the presidential inauguration, no matter what your beliefs are on politics you should be interested in this historic occasion.  Today is MLK, Jr. day.  I know that I wasn't alive during his time, but what an impact he made on the social landscape of our nation.  Hopefully we can continue his work to racial equality.

Karis' world:

Karis is over 4lbs now!  She is steadily gaining weight.  Hopefully they will begin to work on her suck and swallow reflexes this week.  As soon as she can master those things she will be home with mommy and daddy.  Let me leave you with a picture of her.  She melts my heart.

A Peek into my world

Be careful peeking into my world, this has been a crazy week.

The week that was:

I became a father on Wednesday!!!!  Does anything else top that?  It was a crazy ride that brought Karis Olivia into the world which you can read some of my ramblings about that situation on this blog.  Karis is doing well but in the NICU at Bryn Mawr instead of being home with Holly and I.  Holly came home from the hospital on Sunday and now we are heading down to the NICU a couple of times a day to see our baby.

The week that is:

I came back to work on Monday, which I wasn't too happy about.  I think I'm going to like being a stay at home dad when that happens.  Holly has been going down to the hospital around 11AM to be there for that feeding.  Then she and I plan to go for either the 5PM or 8PM feeding.  They do this thing called cluster care where every three hours they change her, take her temp and feed her.  We get to be hands on during that process as they want to make sure we know what we are doing when she finally gets to come home with us.  Another cool thing is that we get to do what's called kangaroo care.  It's where we hold Karis skin to skin for about an hour.  It helps her to adjust to life outside of the isolette and also helps with bonding between baby and parents.  Holly and I have been alternating doing this and it's great!

What I'm listening to:

With the craziness of last week I didn't listen to much.  I did listen to a little Dave Matthews when I would go back to the apartment.  For some reason their music calms me.

What I'm reading:

Stuff for class mainly.  I'm also working through Wesley's "A Plain Account of Christianity" for class.  Our next session is about salvation/sanctification.  Should be fun!

What I'm keeping an eye on:

My baby of course!  Plus football season is reaching it's peak towards the Super Bowl.  There's this team up here that has exceeded most people's expectations.  I don't know if that's a good thing or not.  Most people were crying for some sort of change all through the season, but I doubt that one will come now.  Also Carolina has lost their first two ACC games.  I don't know what's going on there but they better turn it around.

What's new in the world of Karis:

This is a new category that I will be adding.  Well she was born so that's new.  She's doing well and it was great to see them take off the CPAP machine so we could see her full face.  The nurse last night said that she'll probably progress alot in the next few weeks as her IV is taken out and she moves to a regular crib and then the slow process of growing and learning how to eat and breathe at the same time become the focus.

Truly amazing

So today I went to visit Karis in the NICU at the hospital.  She was in the hard plastic, incubator thing but I found myself just staring at her.  A nurse and a doctor came over to talk to me about her situation and to say that she was doing great.  They use big words, abbreviations and what seems to be a bunch of random letters when trying to explain her situation.  Anyways, as I was talking to the nurse I said that I couldn't wait to hold her, especially because I thought it would be around a week or so before we could do that.  The nurse then informed me that if I came back at 1:45 they would get her out for us to hold.  So Holly, my mother in law Brenda, and myself went to the NICU today and held Karis for about 30-40 min.  Holly went first and I will never forget the way that she teared up.  I can't imagine all that went through her head at that moment.  I know what went through mine but I wasn't carrying Karis around and having to deal with the complications that we experienced for the past couple of days.  About 5 min before we had to leave Holly let me hold Karis and I finally really started to feel like a real dad.  I held my baby today.  I held my baby today!  I HELD MY BABY TODAY!!!!!

In case you can't tell I'm pretty excited about that.

Life's unexpected surprises

So I had hoped to have a great number of posts done on a few of my favorite things and random things that I thought about on my 13 hr trek down to TN for Christmas alone.  I'll still get around to them, but I have to reflect a bit on the craziness of the past few days.  For those of you that don't know, or haven't seen my facebook status update on the right column, my daughter was born today at 10:01 AM 8 weeks premature.  Before I tell you how great she is doing and how adorable she is, let me tell you a bit about our journey to this place.

Holly woke up with kidney pains at midnight on Saturday.  These have been fairly normal throughout her pregnancy as she has to use the bathroom quite a bit with a living thing growing inside of her.  Around 2 AM I finally snapped out of my sleeping funk and we called Holly's OB who suggested that we come to the hospital.  So we loaded up the car and drove to the hospital while Holly's pain grew more intense.  We got here and they took us to a labor and delivery room where they hooked up a fetal heart rate monitor to Holly to keep an eye on the baby and figure out what was causing the kidney pain.  During the course of the next few hours while Holly was being questioned about health history, drugs she was taking, history of the pregnancy, etc, one of the nurses noticed that the baby's heart decelerated for a few minutes.  So we waited and a couple of hours later, it happened again.  Then again a couple of hours later.  Each time when it happened the nurses came in and Holly had to roll around on the bed in order to get the baby to move so they could find the heartbeat.  The first really bad episode happened while I was on my way back from running to the apartment to pack an overnight bag.

So Sunday was spent trying to figure out what the heck was going on and trying not to freak out with the fact that our baby's heartrate was slowing down for no apparent reason.  I'm glossing over quite a bit of details for the sake of my wife, but this was a pretty stressful day.  (If only we knew.)  Holly's mom flew up on Sunday evening to be with us and help out with trying to keep us both sane and also in case anything happened.  I was very thankful for her presence as it gave me the opportunity to not be on the edge all of the time.  From my memory, Sunday night was filled with more decells and the rolling over and such at ungodly hours of the night.  The worst part about Sunday night was the possibility that in the midst of one of these decells that they might have to do an emergency c-section to get the baby.  Luckily, our baby came out every one looking great according to the monitor and so the docs weren't too on edge about it.

Sometime early Monday all of this craziness stopped and Holly started dealing with contractions.  We had a consult with the perinatologist (high risk pregnancy) and neonatologist (premature babies doc) which didn't really help matter too much.  The perinatologist wasn't too concerned about it because the baby tested great on every ultrasound and the heartrate monitor, except for the decells.  The neonatologist came in to just describe what would happen if the baby was delivered in the next few days.  Through another ultrasound, they figured out that's Holly's kidney pain was because of a spasm that forced urine from the bladder back into the kidney.  They gave her some medicine that helped that out and we had a great afternoon.  In fact we went 14 hours without a decell and thought that we might actually get to go home and forget this whole ordeal.

Needless to say that didn't happen.  About 5 that night the baby started to decell and did so about every 3 hours through the morning. We did another consult with the perinatologist, on Tues morning, who discovered that baby had the chord wrapped around her neck.  Which is not uncommon because 1 of every 3 babies born have that occur.  The difference is that certain movement that our baby made caused the chord to compress and thus slow down her heart.  Luckily for us our baby is a fighter and she always responded beautifully from each of these episodes but after Tuesday, which we will call the night from hell, we were all spent emotionally, physically, you name it.  (I think I also forgot to mention that Holly's dad flew up on Monday evening as well.)  Tuesday night consisted of a decell at about every 2-3 hours.  Some of them were very long and at least once we thought that they were going to take Holly back to get the baby.

So on to this morning.  We were visited again by the perinatologist who was not acting too serious about the situation until he discovered that the baby had decelled 14 times in a 24 hour period.  After a consult with him and one of the OB/GYN's from our practice we decided to schedule a c-section to get the baby out.  She appeared strong and healthy and no one wanted to chance another day with that many decells.  So in a matter of 45 min I found myself in an OR holding my wife's hand while our baby was born via c-section at roughly 32 weeks!

I will never ever forget our baby's first cry.  It was such a huge relief because she sounded normal and gave a really strong cry.  Holly and I both started to cry ourselves as the whole experience had finally come to this incredible moment that we will forever share as husband and wife.  We had created a living human being!  Amazing is the only word that comes to my mind.

Now on to the truly amazing things.  Our baby was born 8 weeks premature.  One of the last things to develop in a baby is the lungs and so it's usually pretty touch a go with a newborn at the stage in development.  Luckily, Holly was given 2 steroids shots to help with that development and I'm glad that was able to take hold.  Our baby weighed 3 lbs 14 oz which is fairly big for that stage in development, or so I'm told.  She measured 17 1/4".  She is breathing with very little assistance and for the most part on her own.  Every test that they have done on her shows that she is actually a little ahead of her development.  I've seen her twice but not been able to hold her as of yet.  She will be in the NICU for about 3-4 weeks depending on how she continues to develop.  Hopefully three weeks though.

We have named her Karis Olivia.  Karis is the greek for grace, although it's spelled with a ch, we liked the K better.  Olivia just seemed to flow with it.  I can't believe that I could love something more than I do that little one.  We had a lot of scares the past few days, but now we are on a journey of excitement and more of the unexpected.  I believe that Karis is going to be alot like her mom.  She's moving just as much now as she was inside the womb.  She's fiesty and ultimately I think that is what brought her through this whole ordeal.  Well that and the faithfulness of our awesome God.

Thanks to all of you who have prayed for us in past 3 days or so.  The community of God's people are an amazing bunch.  All of the encouraging texts and those that went out of their way to pick up my in laws (Doug and Pegge, Darren and Ashleigh), do our laundry (Doug and Mear) and those that lifted us up in prayer.  Sorry to those that I wasn't able to contact in the madness, I hope that you'll understand.  I have so much more to say, but I think I'll stop here.

God is good.

All the time.

All the time.

God is good.

Thank you God for your grace and the gift of this precious little one in our life.